It’s been a slow-paced, low-energy January for me this year. It hasn’t been the right time for new starts or big changes and that’s okay. I have (mostly) managed not to be too hard on myself and I have noticed how much of a difference it has made that I’m learning more self-compassion. I have had a very clear sense that I need to hibernate and take care of myself this month while doing the minimum needed each day to fulfil my work and personal commitments. In the past I would have felt guilty about this, and there are still parts of my self that sometimes feel worried that I “should” be doing more, but I have learned to respond to those parts with a kinder voice and to remind myself that I am doing enough.
Over the last week I’ve had a clear feeling that I might be ready for some new challenges, but have still had a sense of waiting. And then, a couple of days ago, some of my vaguely-formed thoughts and plans for the year ahead came together and I took a few actions to move them forward. I noticed that the bursts of energy I had throughout the day were spontaneous and unforced, and it felt easy to do tasks that would have caused me anxiety if I had tried to do them before I was ready.
While I was pondering on this, I went into the garden to take the compost out, overcoming the resistance I felt to stepping out into the cold. I was immediately rewarded by the sound of early evening birdsong and the sight of a scattering of crocuses poking tentatively through the grass. I have been watching out for them as I know they appear around the end of January. I felt cheered by the sight of the crocuses emerging and it made me reflect on how I’m feeling as we come to the end of this month. I feel that I am emerging too but I’m allowing myself to do it gradually.
If you’ve been in hibernation mode this January, let this be a reminder that it’s okay to come out of it slowly. You can follow your own natural rhythm and the rhythm of nature. There will be some days when you have more energy and some when you have less, just as there will be some days of warmth and sunshine and some when it’s cold and grey. Feel your way forward, taking small steps when you are ready and stopping to rest when you need to. Remember that creativity is still there in the quiet periods. Ideas are forming under the surface, ready to emerge when the conditions are right. As the crocuses know when it’s the right time to pop their heads up above the ground, so you can trust yourself to know when it’s time to take action. Take it slowly and gently and wait for the sunshine.
If you would like to find out more about how therapy can help you to develop a kinder internal voice and to trust yourself more, contact me on hannahflowerscounselling@gmail.com.
