Confidence is something that we all need to feel okay with ourselves and to manage the day to day demands of our busy lives. But it doesn’t always come easily. Many of us need a bit of a confidence boost at different times in our lives, especially if something’s happened to knock us off course.
There are many reasons why we might lack confidence. It can come from our past experiences, especially if we carry with us negative messages we have received from parents, teachers or the school bullies. Or it can be affected by our current life experiences, such as the breakup of a relationship, workplace bullying, or a stressful workload we feel we can’t manage when we are not well supported. Sometimes it comes from societal pressures – social media can make it really hard to have confidence in our appearance or body image, because of the pressure to conform to unrealistic ideals.
It’s even harder if our own internal voice is repeating the negative messages we have heard from others. Stop and think for a minute about how you speak to yourself. Do you ever catch yourself saying things like, “I’m so stupid,” or “I’m making a fuss about nothing.” These messages can be so deeply ingrained that we think it’s our own voice we are hearing inside our heads, but really it’s something we’ve learned from others.
Affirmations can be a way to change that. They can help you to create an internal voice that is different and more positive. Some people like to think of it as self-parenting, or supporting and encouraging their “inner child”. Whether or not you find that a helpful metaphor, affirmations are simply a way to develop your self-compassion.
So here are some affirmations you can use every day to help you feel more confident. “Every day” is the key, because this is about creating a new habit to replace an old one. You might want to try writing them down and putting them in places where you will see them regularly. Over time, with enough repetition, they will become more natural to you and you won’t need reminding so often.
1. I am good enough.
2. I am doing really well.
3. I am learning every day.
4. I can trust myself to know what I need.
5. I am worthy of love and care.
6. I am resilient.
7. I believe in myself.
8. I am brave.
Of course, it’s really important that they feel meaningful to you, so you might want to change some of them or add new ones. These are just some examples to get you started. You can also change them from “I am” to “You are” if that feels better for you. If you like to imagine that you are talking to your inner child, you might want to tell them, “You are worthy of love and care,” as you visualise yourself at an age when you really needed to hear that.
What affirmations would you add?
If you’d like some help with developing self-compassion and building confidence, contact me by email at hannahflowerscounselling@gmail.com or by telephone on 07305 424417.
